Alleged?

In this photo released by the Orlando (Fla.) Fire Department, Lonnie Shields, 37, waits for help from firefighters after the owner of a convenience store found him stuck in an exhaust vent in Orlando, Fla., Thursday, Feb. 2, 2006. Shields, an alleged burglar, was rescued Thursday after he got stuck overnight in the oven vent of the convenience store he was trying to rob, the fire department said.
alleged: Represented as existing or as being as described but not so proved; supposed
Whatever, I guess being stuck in the vent isn't proof enough

The Good Old Days

This was published a few weeks after 9/11.
I thought it was funny, I still do...
At least we knew who we were fighting

New Juicer

Sorry about the last post, Kat pointed out that it was a rerun. Well I got my new free juicer the other day. It's great! I've been juicing for about 6 weeks and it's really great. Not only am I getting my 5 or so servings of fruits and veggies a day, it gets absorbed into my system in about 30 minutes, it's been helping a lot with the side effects form the other issues I deal with so afteralmost 2 years, I've figured something major out.

Finish the Line

Life Is Like A ......

5 Weird Habits

ground rules: the first player of this 'game' starts with the topic '5 weird habits of yours' & people who get tagged need to write a blog entry about their 5 quirky habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged & list their names.
1) I snore in French.
2) I can't watch the credits of a movie without saying "Look, Whit Bissell"
3) I am always burning my arms when taking food out of the oven.
4) It can take me forever to start something, like a dietary change or an ecercise program, but when I do I easily become obsessed with it (like kayak 81 days in a row).
5) I can't finish reading a book at all lately. I tried getting them on tapes or CD's, Same thing, I don't finish them.

I'm tagging some people who spam me....
Joao Ayrault - Daily st.ck Barometer idiochromosome rumpade lampman
Boudreaux Eliseo - Viagra salesperson
Twyla Candi - UPSET BCOZ OF UR SHORT DlCK? LONGER 2" WITH THIS
Ruby - DOWNLOAD lNSTANTLY EXPENSlVE SOFTWARES AT 0NLY 29-55 Bucks EACH wrong
christophermarks3920 - http://pennystockinvestment.blogspot.com/

Oh Brother Hubbard...

	If the movie doesn't play, you can try this link or right click it and save to the desktop.

Windows Media Player for Mac

How Much?

This morning my wife was getting ready to take a bath. I walked into the bathroom and she was standing naked on the bathroom scale. I asked her "How much...?" She gave me a look like I was propositioning her. I finished the sentence with "... do you weigh? She said 100 with no clothes, 105 with clothes. I went to the bank today to take out $100 just in case...

I'M ONLY MADE OF PARTS

Oil Man:
When an old man’s droolin’ spittle
And loose around the middle,
And with a worn out heart.
It’s because they keep exhumin’,
To the point that I’m inhuman,
And I’m only made of parts.

On a bender, I go mental,
I’m less than continental,
Disregarding life and art,
I defend the broken arrows,
As a boy I shot at sparrows,
Now I’m only made of parts.

For a fee, I’d drain the sea,
To pump the oil below…
Dubithy: Wherefore art thou, Conoco?
Oil Man: An oily teat… light and sweet!

Just to stop the drills transocean,
heresy, commotion,
I think I’d fall apart.
I say bung, I’m the skipper,
Are you shocked, a double dipper?
For a war I’ve got to start!

Public Service Announcement...

Gentlemen (and Ladies) : I am writing to you to warn you of something that happened to me as I am a victim of the latest scam at a mall while shopping. This happened at the Garden State Plaza Mall and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works. Two good looking twenty-something year old women come to your car as you are leaving the mall while your are placing your packages on the floor of the frontseat. One starts wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex while the other comes to your window saying "Hi" while bending over with her breasts almost coming out of her blouse. It will be impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and beg you for a ride to the Paramus Park Mall. When you agree and tell them to sit in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other in the back seat. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts to perform oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I was assaulted last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but I couldn't find them Saturday or Sunday.
Be careful......

Late Nite Jokes

"Vice President Cheney is on an extended tour of the Middle East. They love him over there. He's known as Lawrence of Arrhythmia."
--DAVID LETTERMAN

"A new study has found that 3 million Irish men can trace their ancestry back to just one man. In his defense, the man said he'd been drinking."
--CONAN O'BRIEN